My dear Jules,
Life lately has been hard. I know you love your school and your friends, but things are just getting really difficult, what with them not being willing or able to help you with anything that is medical. I feel so bad for you when you have an accident; instead of having consideration for your feelings, people get frustrated at you and at us. It is not your fault, and they should never make you feel bad.
You do not deserve that.
So on Sunday, you got your period for the first time, and you brought pads to school. You tried to put them on by yourself, but it is just difficult with the stupid wings (wish they didn't have these). I was told, on the telephone (thank God) that they cannot help you with any of this, ever.
We have a conference on Thursday about High School, and I just don't know what would be best for you. I am such a fan of inclusion and think this school has been so good for you, but I am sick and tired of them making you feel badly about things that are just, well, normal. I wish you could get help in the bathroom if you needed it and/but could also be included. Why is it so difficult to have both of these things at the same time?
Do I need to give up on inclusion so that you can be comfortable with your body and your friends, and your learning too? I really want you to be happy, but you are so easy-going that it's hard to know when you are not happy. I don't want to go back to the self-contained classroom with mostly non-verbal kids, but the more I think about years and years of this, the more depressed I get.
If you ever read this after I'm gone, I just want you to know how much I love you, how hard I'm trying to do what's best for you. If this is not it, then I'm very sorry.
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