Friday, May 27, 2011
Julia's Dad, My Husband
May is full of anniveraries for us, some not-so-happy, some joyous. Today is the five year anniversary of my marriage to the most remarkable man I know, Julia's dad. My ring fits a little more snugly than it did five years ago...but then again, so do we.
Like all couples, we fight and disagree, but talking through these things has really helped us get to know one another, and to work as a team in raising Julia. Sure, we have less time together (alone) now that she's here, but being with the two of them every night, with Julia hanging out in her Daddy's lap, is an absolute joy.
In five years, we've been through a lot and learned a lot. Thankfully, we've grown together. He has taught me to stick up for myself, to speak my mind more than I did. He has not only respected my work, but pushed me to do more, achieve more. Most importantly, he has taught me that I deserve love, that I am beautiful as I am, inclusive of my flaws and foibles.
And what does this all have to do with our beautiful little girl? Well, I think a lot. First of all, I'd like her to read this someday and see how much I value our marriage, our partnership. I'd love for her to find a partner some day who will respect and love her just as much, and I want her to know that she 100%, absolutely, no matter what, deserves all of the love in the world, and that she's beautiful, not despite her imperfections but, as Gerald Manly Hopkins writes in "Pied Beauty," because of them:
GLORY be to God for dappled things—
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced—fold, fallow, and plough;
And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim.
All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Who would say that a "brinded cow" is beautiful? And yet, none of their spots, or the markings on trout, or even the tiny finches' wings, are ever the same. I hope that all of you reading this, my dear friends and family, realize that you are beautiful and loved because you are "original," some may even say "strange," and (if you're like me!), "freckled." And I hope you all have or had a partner who can show you, day in and day out, that this is the case. I want Julia to know how remarkable her father is, so here's to many more years of marriage and parenthood, many more years of discovery and exploration, many more years of unconditional, perfect love.